And Just A Year Ago...

While having Sunday morning dim sum last week with a few old friends, we got to catching up and updating one another on our lives.

I haven’t seen this certain friend in maybe over a year, but the last distinct memory he had with me was dinner at Cheesecake Factory. I remember sitting at the table for what seemed like hours eating anything and everything, and really just talking about life. I confessed my aspirations and where I wanted my life to go while in between bites.

I told him, then, that I really wanted to pursue my passion for writing. I wanted to get accepted into a Journalism program at one of the local universities and one day write for XXL or Vibe.

Fast-forward one year later and I’ve received my acceptance letter for the school of Journalism at the University of North Texas, and as far as writing for XXL or Vibe? I’m not quite there, but I am writing for an urban site [http://yourstrongestally.com/blog] and fulfilling my passion for words and music all at once. I’m learning something new every day and perfecting my craft in the process.

With hard work and determination, anything is possible..

A lost license and a lost Love.

I had went out last Thursday to a local sports bar to watch the Mavs play the Thunder. Usually when there's any sporting event, especially the playoffs, there's a large group of people out and about. Instead of taking names down like normal restaurants do, this particular place made you trade your ID for a buzzer. As I went to exchange the buzzer back for my ID, the hostess had a hard time finding it. Long story short, they lost it.

I shouldn't have been drinking that night anyway, so I took it as a sign and avoided going to get a new license until Monday. As they called my number, I rounded the corner and was greeted by a middle aged blonde woman. She went through the basic routine and somewhere in between scanning my thumbs and taking a new picture, she got to telling me about her life. Her late husband had passed a few months ago and there was a certain pain in her eyes. He was her first love, and really all she knew. Her first experiences prior to that consisted of her being sexually abused as an adolescent. When they got together things were great in the beginning, then the abuse came and soon after rape. She said it was all she knew, so when men were nice to her she "ran like hell". It was weird to her. Weird to be treated with respect. She said since he's passed she's found herself a real man, who treats her and her children with respect, and she couldn't be any happier. A part of her was still bitter about the past, but I could see she was trying to move forward. I'm not sure what compelled her to open up to me, but I took a great lesson from it.

Out of the many people we encounter on a daily basis, you don't know what people may be going through. Respect any and everyone, smile every chance you get, and remember the bad day you're having.. someone out there may have it worse.

I think we were destined to be in each other's life that particular Monday. She needed a listening ear and I was her confidant. Simply 2 strangers who had no idea that we'd be leaving that conversation with more than what we began with.. A rare but beautiful accident.

Biological Clock

I came across a tweet that was intended to be a joke at first, but in the end spoke volumes of truth.

She said as a woman she can't help but feel a certain way about those around her getting married. However, when she stops and thinks about her life, she can't think of one person she likes/loves enough to spend the next 50-60 years with.

Almost 23 years under my belt and I couldn't help but take a trip down my own memory love-lane. Through the trials and errors, heartbreaks, and smiles.. it all made me who I am today. I live with no regrets, simply lessons learned.

So have I ever felt that way about someone? Sure. Do I still feel that way? For always. Life doesn't always hand you things on a silver platter though. I try not to question the events in my life because I know that they've happened for a reason. But I'm an eternal optimist and my faith is undying. Whatever is meant to be will be.

My best wishes go out to ms. Anonymous, because once she does find that one.. she'll wonder how she ever did without. Vivre L'amour, without it we're nothing.

1 Corinthians 13

Sometimes I like to go back and re-read my entries. More times than none I surprise myself. Not because I can re-live the feeling I had while writing it, but because the depth of the content.

Trying times sometime bring out the best work in people, and sometimes it can alter you from being productive at all. I know I've been MIA from here, and I'm truly sorry.

The good news is, I was picked up by a growing hip-hop site based out of LA.. have been putting in work for them and absolutely loving it. So don't fret, I'm still here.. placing my personal life on hold so to speak and trying to nurture my professional.

I'm hoping since I'll be blogging more at the other site professionally, it will inspire me to update more, personally.

T R I L L E N T

In this day and age the ability for us to download free music is easier than it's ever been. We have sites such as megaupload and mediafire that make napster and limewire look trivial and ancient.

With that being said, many artists are under the attack of hackers or bootleggers who will get an unfinished copy of their tracks out to the world wide web within seconds.

So what does Webbie do? Why, he leaks his own tracks of course.

Southern Gal, lovin both Savage Life 1 and 2 along with all the mixtapes he's been dropping, was pleasantly surprised when he leaked his own 3 tracks via twitter.

http://mysong.fm/beenthere Webbie - Been There
http://mysong.fm/madenigga Webbie - Made Nigga
http://mysong.fm/whatshappenin Webbie ft. Lil Phat - Whats Happenin

Evident that he hasn't lost his touch, he's giving his fan's what they've been asking for since his last album "Savage Life 2" dropped in 2008. It's not surprising in the least, because he took a 3 year time frame between dropping Savage Life 1 and 2, perhaps he's making it a tradition.

From one fan to another, enjoy, and go out and support once his album drops.

mu•sic

No matter where you are in the world, old or young, rich or poor, there’s a mental escape that is constant; Music. I’ll admit I’m a self-proclaimed music junkie with over 20 GBs of greatness. I have a song for every feeling that I’ve allowed myself to willingly experience. 22 years down the line and I’m still amazed how when you can’t find the words to express exactly how you feel, there’s a song that can do just that. No matter what you may be going through, there’s always that one album or song that can change your mood instantly. You press play, close your eyes, and get lost in the music. Bob Marley said it best, “When the music hits, you feel no pain.”

Although today is Sunday, it's officially my "Saturday". I've been laying in bed for the past 3 hours just enjoying my "weekend".

Today's feel good jam is Lenny Williams - Because I Love You. Enjoy your Sunday, blessed and be blessed folks.

1 Corinthians 13

The Way of Love

13:1 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. 4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things 8 Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. 11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. 12 For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known 13 So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

Judgement of Character

My ability to judge someones’ character has fluctuated throughout the years. I use to think that everyone was kind-hearted, was honest, and genuine.

Then I ran across some individuals who broke my trust, didn’t have my best interest at heart, and had alterior motives for their association with me.

Then I didn’t trust anyone and believed that if people were being nice to me, they wanted something.

Now in present time I’m a little of column A and a little of column B. I don’t trust too easily, but I’m not completely closed-minded either. I guess it’s situational..

but you know what they say, keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

Survival of the fittest, bet that.

Story To Tell

When is the last time you did something nice for someone out of the pure goodness of your heart?

Still thinking?.. while you’re doing that, I’ve got a story to tell.

Today as I was randomly browsing Facebook during a random study break, aka procrastination, I ran across a status that made me smile.

A gal pal of mine, who’s a single mother, took her boys out for lunch at Denny’s. To her surprise when she was ready to pay, her server notified her that her bill had been taken care of by another customer who had already left.

He didn’t speak to her nor make it known that he was doing this good deed. He wasn’t expecting anything from her at all… he just did it out of the pure goodness of his heart.

It makes me smile to know there are still genuinely good people left in this world..who do things without ever expecting anything in return.

Adding “do more selfless deeds" to my to-do list for life :)

Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could have been any different.

:)

How we spend some of our #qualitytime ..LOL

ATTENTION MAKE-UP FANATICS!

Sigma has a new "Make Me" brush line, as you can see. I got the "Make Me Crazy" because I looove purple. Comes in a cute and travel friendly case as well :)

Brushes included in this kit are:

Small Angle - E65 - Essential for the application of gel or cream eyeliner on the upper and lower lash line. This brush is also excellent for filling out the eyebrows. Synthetic bristles.

Medium Angled Shading - E70 - Angled, tapered, flat top. Ideal to apply highlight shades underneath the eyebrow and on the inner corners. It can also be used for a precise application of darker shades on the crease area. Natural bristles.

Large Shader - E60 - Flat shape is ideal for application of cream formulas and eye shadow primers. It also works great with loose eye shadows or pigments. Can be used to apply color all over the lid or precisely on the lash line. Natural bristles.

Pencil - E30 - Precise application of color on the crease, outer corner, and upper and lower lash line. Also ideal to smudge out pencil liner. Natural bristles.

Large Angled Contour - F40 - The angled shape makes this brush ideal to apply blush or contour shades. Natural bristles.

Large Powder - F30 - Very dense with a rounded top. Ideal to apply powder products on face and body. Natural bristles.

Duo Fibre - F50 - Specially designed to generate an ‘airbrushed’ finish when used to apply liquid foundation. It can also be used to apply blush, highlight shades and loose pigments. Blend of synthetic and natural bristles.

Foundation - F60 - Can be used to apply liquid or cream foundation. It is also recommended to apply moisturizers and conceal large areas. Synthetic bristles.

Concealer - F70 - The rounded, tapered, flat shape makes this brush ideal to conceal the under eye area. It is also recommended for a precise application in small areas. Synthetic bristles.

Tapered Blending - E40 - Rounded and tapered top. Specially designed to apply and blend color on the crease. Natural bristles.

Eye Shading - E55 - Soft and dense with a rounded finish. Can be used to apply pressed or loose eye shadows and pigments. Ideal to build intense color on the eyelid. Natural bristles.

Eyeliner - E05 - An extra-fine tipped synthetic fiber brush that delivers a precise, firm, even stroke to line the eyes.


Sigma Makeup offers a free travel size E25 brush with this kit!

Enjoy and happy shopping at www.sigmabeauty.com

e x c u s e m e a s i k i s s t h e s k y.

A lil something I found on Facebook..

When you think of your past love, you may view it as a failure. But when you find a new love, you view the past as a teacher. In the game of love, it doesn’t really matter who won or who lost. What is important is you know when to hold on and when to let go! You know you really love someone when you want him or her to be happy, even if their happiness means that you’re not part of it. Everything happens for the best. If the person you love doesn’t love you back, don’t be afraid to love someone else again, for you’l never know unless you give it a try. You’ll never love a person you love unless you risk for love. Love strives in hurting. If you don’t get hurt, you don’t learn how to love. Love doesn’t hurt all the time. Though the hurting is still there to test you, to help you grow.

Don’t find love, let love find you. That’s why it’s called falling in love because you don’t force yourself to fall. You just fall. You cannot finish a book without closing its chapters. If you want to go on, then you have to leave the past as you turn the pages. Love is not destroyed by a single failure or won by a single caress. It is a lifetime venture in which we are always learning discovering and growing.

The greatest irony of love is letting go when you need to hold on and holding on when you need to let go. We lose someone we love only when we are destined to find someone else who can love us even more than we can love ourselves. On falling out of love, take some time to heal and then get back on the horse. But don’t ever make the same mistake of riding the same one that threw you off the first time. To love is to risk rejection, to live is to risk dying to hope is to risk failure. But risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing! To reach for another is to risk involvement, to expose your feelings is to expose true self, to love is to risk not to be loved in return.

How to define love: fall but do not stumble, be constant but not too persistent, share and never be unfair, understand and try not to demand hurt but never keep the pain. Love is like a knife. It can stab the heart or it can carve wonderful images into the soul that always last for a lifetime. Love is supposed to be the most wonderful feeling. It should inspire you and give you joy and strength. But sometimes the things that give you joy can also hurt you in the end.

Loving people means giving them the freedom who they choose to be and where they choose to be. For all the heartaches and the tears, for gloomy days and fruitless years, you should give thanks, for you know, that there were the things that helped you grow. Loving someone means giving him the freedom to find his way, whether it leads towards you or away from you Love is a painful risk to take but the risk must be taken no matter how scary or painful, for only then you’ll experience the fullness of humanity and that is love. Only love can hurt your heart, fill you with desire and tear you apart Only love can make you cry and only love knows why. If you’re not ready to cry, if you’re not ready to take the risk, if you’re not ready to feel the pain then you’re not ready to fall in love. There was a time in our lives when we became afraid to fall in love cause every time we do, we get hurt, then figured that’s why it’s called falling in love.

"The jealous are troublesome to others, but a torment to themselves." -William Penn, Some Fruits of Solitude, 1693

Memory

I have a good memory. Well, scratch that, I have a freakishly good memory. However, with every blessing, comes it’s flaws.

It comes in handy with school, work, reminiscing on pleasant times..and I’ve always been grateful for that.

The times I hate it the most are when reflecting on times of misfortune . With having freakishly good memory, you not only remember everything in full detal, you remember how you felt and can relive that moment over and over and over.

Your heart stops the same, the pain surges from the pit of your stomach and explodes from your eyes as tears..and you’re cursing yourself for even letting yourself go down that way of memory lane.

Over analyzation comes with anxiety. Anything can trigger it, but I’ve been trying to maintain the mental fort without the assistance of government drugs. I’ve been there, tried that, and didn’t feel like myself anymore. So whatever it is that I’m meant to feel, I have.

You know what’s helped me though? Prayer. It’s a powerful thing. And it’s worked better than all the weed, liquor, and government drugs…why? Because the healing comes from within as opposed to the numbing senation from polluting your body hoping for the same effect.

Live and learn folks.

"You know what I love about you..?"

: you’re deep.

—-

I always thought my overly-complex nature was a bad thing until a close friend embraced it. I suppose the more layers a person has, the more interesting they are to the outside world.

I really wish I could travel back in time and tell drineee circa 2006 to not delete her Xanga. Deleting the xanga does not delete the memories, they’ll still be there whether you want them to be or not.

I never realized how many people kept up with my blogs over the years until late last year. I’m saying last year as if it were a few months back.. We’re not even a week in to 2011, heh.

..Anywho..

All of the worlds’ greatest artist were fucked up mentally. They had more issues than the average person and they used their music, words, art, etcetera as their emotional outlet. I can totally cosign the movement because back in the day.. my writing kept me sane. My words were the key to my sanity.. and they helped me through one of the hardest times of my life.

What I didn’t realize was that my words were not only helping me, but they were helping others as well. The more shit I went through, the more I wrote.. and the more I wrote, the more faithful readers I gained. They say history has a way of repeating itself, and sometimes it happened simultaneously throughout the world. What I was going through, someone else was too.. and just having the comfort of not being alone from the confirmation of posts sometimes was enough for someone, anyone.

.. Fast forward to 2011 and I find myself blogging less than I ever have. The reason? I’m at a really good place in my life right now. I don’t have any emotional distresses to express to keep my sanity.. I’m happy. So here comes the time in my writing life to become versatile. I’ve found inspiration in little things here and there and am taking a step forward in growth.. if I can be a damn good writer when I’m an emotional wreck, I should be able to be a damn good writer when I’m on top of the world as well. Tis time to perfect my craft. I hear what the people want, and it’s coming, I promise.